Fun Is Had By All
by Tinyteffers
Summary: Things are changing in the Holmes-Watson household but not everything is to be taken seriously as we get a look into their new lives. (I'm horrible at summaries so I apologize). This is established Sherlock/John slash and MPREG just as a warning :)
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:**

Things are changing in the Holmes-Watson household but not everything is to be taken seriously as we get a look into their new lives. (I'm horrible at summaries so I apologize)

P.S. It is perfectly normal for both men and women to get pregnant in my little universe.

 **Notes:**

Hey everybody! So this is a new, and exciting, thing for me! I normally don't write for the 'Sherlock' fandom but have just recently started watching the show and have gotten addicted to anything 'Sherlock' SOOO with that said here is my first attempt at this

Oh and also I am American so the traditional English language and English slang isn't my strong suite. I strongly apologize for not getting some things right. I've tried hard to learn from the show and other stories. Well here we go...

The Calendar

"One…two…three…" Sherlock Holmes counted the weeks on the calendar his stomach beginning to churn the farther he got in his counting. "Four…five…" he groaned and rubbed at his face with his hands. "Five…blood fucking five." He shook his head and counted again…and again…and again until he couldn't count anymore because quite frankly he had tears falling down his cheeks. "Not five…not four…God damn-it three would be bad." He glanced at his watch and realized John would be coming home from surgery soon. Clearing his throat he tried to compose himself before his flat-mate and boyfriend joined him for the evening. "Right…get it together Sherlock, you'll figure this out."

"Figure what out?"

"Jesus Christ John!" Sherlock exclaimed almost literally jumping out of his skin. He had been so deep in thought about John coming home and composing himself the he had actually missed said man coming home.

John stood there his eyes wide, what kind of a reaction was that? Definitely not one of Sherlock Holmes. "Sherlock?"

Shaking himself out of his shock Sherlock shook his head. "Nothing…I'm fine." He answered the question he knew the doctor was going to ask next. "

"Right and I'm the Queen."

"You are a queen." Sherlock said with his best smirk and stomped out of the sitting room to go use the loo. He swore he was using the darn bathroom every five minutes.

"Ha Ha!" John called after him before going into the kitchen to find something to eat. Of course when he opened the refrigerator he wasn't surprised to find some sort of severed body part. This time though it wasn't a body part of a human but of…was that a dog's…? "Sherlock!"

Sherlock was coming out of the bathroom when he heard his name being called. "Must have found it." He walked into the kitchen and smirked at the disgusted look on John's face as he closed the door of the refrigerator.

"Why is there a dog's…penis…in our refrigerator?" John asked actually blushing when saying 'that' word.

"Fido."

"Excuse me?"

"The dog's name is Fido and his penis is in our refrigerator to stay cold." Sherlock explained like that made complete sense when John thought it made anything BUT complete sense.

"So we are keeping dog…members…in our refrigerator because they need to stay cold." John said not sure why he was even asking for clarification. "Any reason it's not in the freezer?"

"Yes."

"Oh?"

"It's testicles are in there."

Sherlock was actually thankful for the crazy conversation for dog private parts because it caused him to forget about why the calendar was off the wall and sitting on the counter top. But the moment John mentioned it his furious counting and crying spell came flooding back to him.

"I was trying to remember the date of a case." Sherlock lied through his teeth, something even HE wasn't very good at.

John was confused, but that wasn't abnormal. "You don't keep track on the Kitty Calendar…your case stuff I mean." He said still wondering why in the world they had a calendar full of kitty cats in the first place.

Caught off guard about what to say Sherlock actually stumbled around his words. "I…I did this time, special case…very special about…about."

"Cats?"

"Right yes!" Sherlock was so excited on the inside to have come up for a reason for his yammering. "That case about Mrs. Jasper's cat."

"Which was a complete bore." John added. Even he had thought the case of the missing five footed cat was boring and quite frankly down right weird.

"Yes, right." Sherlock decided to hang up the calendar but before he did he gave it a nice long stare and a good added glare that to his horror didn't go unnoticed by John.

"Sherlock you are behaving strangely are you sure you are okay?"

Sherlock looked at the calendar and then glanced quickly at his stomach another thing that did not go unnoticed but the doctor but thankfully in another way.

"That's right I was getting a bite to eat when I found that…that…thing." John said as he got out the fixings for a sandwich. "Want anything."

They could talk all day about dog parts where there was food but the mention of the food had Sherlock running towards the bathroom at breakneck speed.

"Sherlock?" John called through a mouthful of his sandwich. He then put the food down and dashed after his boyfriend. He found him in the bathroom off of the now 'master' bedroom…their bedroom now that they actually were sharing a room much to Mrs. Hudson's delight. "Oh Sherlock." He said gently as he got him a wet towel and a glass of water for when he was fished.

Meanwhile Sherlock was busy heaving everything he had eaten that day, which hadn't been much, into the toilet bowl, his hands gripping the sides leaving marks. He was getting so violently ill that he had tears running down his cheeks mixing with the sweat from his brow.

John rubbed Sherlock's back until the other man was finished getting sick. He reached up and flushed the sick away before helping Sherlock to sit back against the bathtub and just taking some much needed breaths of air. "Here sip this…slowly."

Sherlock took the glass and took a few much needed sips of the cool liquid. He wasn't going to tell John this was the third time he had done this that day. One because he knew his boyfriend would be worried well…as a boyfriend…and two he would be worried as a doctor. Right now Sherlock didn't want either worried man in this bathroom so he didn't mention it.

"That was slightly peculiar." John said as he helped Sherlock to his feet. "I don't think I have EVER seen you sick before…let alone vomiting."

"There was that time…" Sherlock tried.

John shook his head in the negative, "There was no time…and now I feel like you are trying to hide this…how I am not sure but what are you hiding Sherlock?"

"Nothing at all." Sherlock replied as he walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Feeling sick all over he decided to change into his pajama pants and robe which of course meant he went barefoot as well. When he finished dressing he realized that John had left the room. He found it odd that the other man had dismissed their slight argument so quickly but didn't say anything about it as he padded his way back downstairs to find John again eating his sandwich.

"I don't like you hiding things from me."

Sherlock glanced over at John in bed. They were both on their laptops doing various things but had been having an okay discussion about a Shakespearian play they saw earlier in the week when John decided to bring THIS up.

"I don't know why you keep thinking I am withholding information from you when I am not."

John sighed and put his laptop on the night stand by his side of the bed. "The kitty calendar."

Sherlock put his own computer down rather forcefully. "Would you give it a rest about the bloody calendar?"

John smirked.

Sherlock frowned.

"Something IS going on about that Calendar" John said excitedly, he always loved when he figured something new out. "So you are looking something up."

"I told you it has to do with that case about the cat."

"And the dog…parts…"

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "That has to do with something different entirely."

"Sherlock you know I love you and you know that you can be honest with me." John said reaching over and taking his boyfriend's hand.

"I know this."

"Then why are you NOT being honest with me. You are keeping weird animal parts, calculating things on a cute animal calendars, vomiting like I wouldn't believe so you have to be bloody lying to me about something." John exclaimed actually hopping out of bed and pacing around, much like Sherlock would do.

Sherlock sat in bed with wide eyes. He was quiet for a second before replying. "Why do all those things lead you to believe I am lying to you?"

"Because they are out of character for you!"

"Oh."

John stopped his pacing to look at Sherlock "Oh? That is all you have to say?"

"Yes." Sherlock got out of bed himself and headed for the bathroom.

"Going to vomit again?" John questioned as he followed after his boyfriend only to find him standing in front of the toilet urinating. "Oh."

"Care to stare?"

John quickly turned and walked back out of the room.

Neither of the men were up to sex that night or the next morning for that matter. Instead both men ate breakfast in silence and John headed off for the surgery, the only thing was Sherlock decided to spring his secret on the young doctor as he was walking out the door.

"Could you be oh so kind and pick me up something from the shops on your way home." Sherlock questioned, causing John to stop on the steps.

Sighing, John walked back up the steps and into the house. "Please be quick I am running late."

"Sure." Sherlock said.

John looked at the other man expectantly. "Yes…what is it?"

"A pregnancy test."

This caught John completely off guard, so much so that he almost fell to the floor since he had been leaning on the back of the chair. "Excuse me."

"I have decided after some deduction that I require a pregnancy test."

John moved so he was sitting IN the chair and looked at Sherlock like he had gone completely insane. "YOU need a pregnancy test. What for a case? And if so why can you not go pick it up yourself?"

Sherlock sighed and shook his head, he couldn't believe how dense his boyfriend could be at times. "John the pregnancy test is for me. My period is five weeks late."

John must have been swallowing some siliva because he started choking. When he finally was able to talk he looked at Sherlock in shock. "YOU…Sherlock Holmes went five weeks without a period without telling me without getting a bloody test?"

"Yes."

John threw his hands up in the air, "Well there is no way in hell I am going to work this morning without getting you your test. Actually no I am not going to get a test."

"John I know you are mad at me but it would really help…"

John shook his head, "No you Git I am taking you WITH me to surgery and we'll do a test there."

Sherlock shook his head like crazy, "Oh no….this is a private thing."

John rolled his eyes, "I don't plan on inviting anybody else to join us in the examination room."

"Oh."

"Yes oh."

"John?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"Now that I think about it I could have done this on my own at home." Sherlock said as he sat on the examination table with his shirt thrown over the back of a chair. He felt exposed sitting there without his clothing even though it was only John in the room who had seen him in far less clothing.

"Hush." John said as he got a needle ready so he could take the blood he needed for the pregnancy test. He had debated on if he should do a urine test or a blood test and had decided to do both. This of course frustrated Sherlock.

"Must I really urinate in the small cup?"

"Would you rather urinate in a big cup because that could be arranged?"

Sherlock rolled his eyes as he took the cup and went and did his business in the bathroom off to the side of the examination room. He blushed when he brought back the almost full cup.

John actually chuckled for the first time since Sherlock's admission and found that he was beginning to be okay with the idea. It wasn't that he never wanted to be a father, actually it was the opposite. It had been Sherlock that he decided for both of them that they were not going to be parents. But here they were at his surgery just about to do various tests for pregnancy.

"John?"

It was then John realized he had been spacing out and quickly shook his head to clear the cobwebs and return to the land of the living and his possibly pregnant boyfriend. "Yes…sorry."

"Can I put my shirt back on?"

John shook his head, "No...if these tests come back positive then we will do a sonogram."

"I didn't agree to that." Sherlock said shaking his head. "I just want to go home after this."

"Tough."

Sherlock sighed and crossed his arms over his bare chest and waited impatiently for the tests to be completed.

It took a good half an hour for the blood results but the second John saw the results his eyes went wide and a huge smile came over his mouth. "Well it's certain."

"It is?"

John nodded grinning like a nutter. "You're pregnant Sherlock."


	2. Chapter 2

Baby Pictures, A Chinchilla and the Bloody Cow

Sherlock lay on his back on the examination table his eyes wide as he looked at the sonogram screen. "That's a baby." He stated rather stupidly…something Sherlock Holmes was not.

John smiled as he moved the attached wand over Sherlock's stomach. "Listen to this." He said as he flipped a switch and soon a swooshing sound could be heard through-out the room. "Hear that?"

"Of course I do." Sherlock said and listened in awe. "I'm also not going to be one of those silly parents that asks about it being so fast because I know that a fetes' heartrate is supposed to be the rate that it is currently going.

"Right."

Sherlock was a big shocked by the lack of words his boyfriend was using. "Everything alright?" he meant with the baby but assumed he could be asking John too.

John looked from the monitor and to Sherlock. "Oh yes everything is fine." He patted his boyfriend on the leg in reassurance. "Do you want a picture?"

"An actual picture?"

John nodded his head.

Sherlock smiled a little, "That would be nice." He said as he wiped off his stomach with the towel John handed to him and then sat up on the table. "So he or she is okay."

"Of course," John said smiling. "I would have said if something was wrong."

"Right."

"So you appear to be about six weeks along." John said smiling like a fool; he was enjoying this immensely.

"Hmm"

John looked at Sherlock…really looked at him. He couldn't believe it but the detective appeared to actually be enjoying the idea of being pregnant. Hadn't they had a conversation about this only a few months earlier?

***THREE MONTHS EALRIER ***

"Sherlock you would enjoy it."

"I assure you I would not." Sherlock stated from where he was seated at his microscope at the kitchen counter.

"But they are cute and cuddly…"

Sherlock looked over at John, his eyes giving him a dubious look. "A child is NOT cute and cuddly, John."

"Well maybe not so cuddly…not all the time…but they are cute." The doctor said a cute pout coming onto his face one that often led them to the bedroom…and maybe that was John's point here.

"You honestly have NO idea what you are speaking of." Sherlock said as he went back to looking at the experiment under the microscope all the while thinking of what John had been suggesting. John wanted children and if that was the case and they had children of their own it meant Sherlock would have to become pregnant. This was honestly the part that the young detective was not excited about. Could he really handle being pregnant?

"You're being selfish…once again." John said after a second of silence. "I don't understand why you don't want to have children with me."

"Because I don't."

***BACK TO REAL TIME***

"Sherlock we need to talk." John said as they gathered their things and headed out of the surgery.

"About?"

John was beginning to feel rather exasperated by his boyfriend, he didn't understand his behavior and attitude around their newfound information. "Sherlock!"

Hearing the change in tone in John's voice had Sherlock's attention. He turned to look at him with his own look of exasperation. "Can this not wait until we get home?"

'Right he's embarrassed' John thought to himself but nodded to Sherlock. They got a cab and took it home in silence. Both men needing time to think things through…but both were thinking on the same topic.

Lunch was attempted when they arrived at the flat. Well it was successful on John's part but completely unsuccessful on Sherlock's.

"Sherlock!" John exclaimed knocking on the bathroom door.

"How do you…expect me to bloody open the door." Sherlock managed to say through bouts of heaving.

"Good point." John mumbled to himself as he stood on the other side of the bathroom door waiting for Sherlock to be finished getting sick.

It took a good few minutes but soon the detective was opening the bathroom door looking as white as a sheet. "Jesus Sherlock."

Sherlock just glared as he pushed past his boyfriend and flopped onto the bed his head going in his hands. "This is not going to work."

John began getting worried, "What isn't."

"This vomiting all the time, I won't be able to work like this."

"It should stop in a few weeks." John said as he sat down on the bed next to Sherlock and started rubbing his back. He was rather shocked with the other man leaned into his touch when normally he would push him away.

Sherlock looked at John in disbelief. "You say that like it's a good thing…well you try being violently I'll numerous times a day."

"I would rather not." John admitted sympathetically. "But seriously Sherlock can we REALLY talk about this now?"

"Not sure what to say…you 'knocked' me up." Sherlock said with a slight smirk on his lips. "You really were a bad, bad boy."

John had NO idea where the suggestive comments were coming from but quite frankly he felt proud for 'knocking' up Sherlock…not that it took much effort obviously because they sure as heck hadn't been trying. Realizing Sherlock was expecting an answer or comment or something he did. "I don't see it as being bad. We're in a committed relationship, we just happened to have sex and bingo."

Sherlock was shaking his head still smirking. "Don't you remember what happened seven weeks ago?"

John looked confused at first but then remembered, blushing bright red. "The chinchilla."

"The chinchilla."

"I swear that little guy just did something to me."

Sherlock's smirk turned to a disgusted face. "Ew John you make it sound like it was the chinchilla that turned you on and got me pregnant."

Thinking of it that way had John making a face too. "Okay so it wasn't the chinchilla itself but the case of the chinchilla."

"What is with us having animal related cases recently? First the chinchilla and then the five footed cat."

"No idea."

Sherlock got a contemplated look on his face but shook out of his thoughts rather quickly. "But seriously it was the OWNER of the chinchilla that you ready to get your rocks off."

John sat up straighter, "He was as hot as hell and you know it too."

"I wouldn't say that…"

"Yes you would."

"You know when you talked about wanting something cute and cuddly a few weeks ago we should have bought a chinchilla." Sherlock said. "Would require less vomiting on my part."

John sighed and started rubbing his boyfriend's back again. "I'm sorry."

Sherlock was taking off guard by the apology. "What?"

"I know you didn't want this."

Sherlock sighed, "John…" he paused and looked at his lap. "Not your fault you know."

"Technically it is."

Sherlock shook his head this time looking up and over at John. "It kind of takes two people to make a baby. I was not innocent in that chinchilla debacle."

Hearing this caused John to laugh. "So you admit it had to do with chinchilla guy."

"Is that what we are calling him?"

"Might as well."

"Hmmm."

"So we're having a baby?" John questioned, ready to spew many words of protest if Sherlock mentioned anything about terminating the pregnancy.

Sherlock surprisingly wasn't thinking about anything to do with termination. Actually his mind was on vomiting…not at that exact moment but in the future. Realizing he should probably answer John's question he nodded his head, "We're having a baby."

"Another one?"

"Yes?"

"Cow this time?"

"Bull actually."

John ran a frustrated hand over his face as he looked at the pictures all over the sitting room of the flat. "This is positively revolting." He made a face. "Tell me again why we are focused on a cow's…murder?"

"It is not the fact the cow was killed but how it was killed."

"Riiight…"

Sherlock sighed as he filled in his boyfriend, flat-mate and work partner on their most recent case. Mrs. Harper had found her husband murdered the same way the family cow was killed the night before. Even though it was a connection between a barnyard creature and a human being rather than the normal human, human connection Lastrade thought it was good to bring Sherlock in on the case. The only problem was he didn't realize how the various images would affect his friend.

"Why do we keep getting animal cases?" John questioned as he again looked at the ghastly images all around the room.

"Don't know." Sherlock said sounding distracted.

John caught on and looked over at what the other man was looking at. It was simply another one of the disgusting cow pictures. "What is so impressive about that one?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Sherlock nodded, "yes nothing." But as he said this he turned positively green.

"Sherlock?"

"Bin!" Sherlock practically screamed and was thankful that even though he was confused John grabbed the waist bin by his chair and scooted it in Sherlock's direction.

"What is going on?" Lestrade questioned as he walked in the flat just in time to see Sherlock grab the bin and start violently vomiting into it. "Weak stomach all of a sudden Sherlock." He teased not realizing how truthful that was.

"Greg…" John warned since Sherlock was glaring at the older man even in midst of being sick.

"It is normal for him to do that and I just haven't noticed?" Greg questioned not listening to John's warning.

Sherlock heaved

"Seriously Man, stop it." John said as he walked over and rubbed at Sherlock's back trying to get the heaving under control.

"Right." Greg cleared his throat and headed for the kitchen, the tap could be heard turning on so John figured he was getting a glass of water for Sherlock, at least that would be nice.

Finally, after a good five minutes of being sick, Sherlock slumped back in his chair, sweating, tears running down his face. He was a good mess and when he heard commotion in the kitchen realized again they weren't alone. "Lovely." He mumbled to himself.

"It'll be fine Honey." John said to the other man still rubbing his back.

When Greg came back into the room John used that opportunity to head upstairs and dispose of the sick in the bin.

Greg did come with water and quickly handed into Sherlock, a bit flustered.

Sherlock mumbled a 'thank you' as he took the water and sipped at it for a few minutes.

"Have you two not said anything to each other the whole time I've been gone?" John questioned as he came down the stairs.

"I said 'thank you' for the water." Sherlock said with a shrug.

"Which is strange." Greg pointed out. "So what is going on? First vomiting over crime scene photos now being polite?"

Sherlock sighed and looked at John who looked back at him in encouragement. "Oh for goodness sake." He said throwing his hands up in the air, thankfully the glass had been put down at some point. "I'm blood pregnant."

Greg's eyes went wide and he had to flop down in a chair to keep from falling over. "Excuse…me?"

"You heard me."

John rolled his eyes at his almost functionally mute boyfriend. "He is pregnant, we found out yesterday."

"And you are letting him go gallivanting after dead cows?"

"That might change after this reaction." John said looking at Sherlock who was glaring at him.

"It had nothing to do with the images on the paper." Sherlock said actually pouting a little.

"Oh?" John found this interesting. "Do enlighten us."

Sherlock sighed, "The photos smell funny."

"Funny?"

"Yes odd…peculiar"

John rolled his eyes, "I know what 'funny' means Sherlock."

"Then stop asking ridiculous questions." Sherlock said as he wiggled around in his chair, nothing felt comfortable anymore and he hated it when even his favorite chair was not how he wanted it.

"How does the photographs smell funny, Sherlock?" Greg questioned interested.

"Where did you get them from?" Sherlock asked, not answering Greg's question.

Greg was confused to get a question thrown back at him without the answer to his. Sighing he went for it. "Mrs. Harper."

"Thought so."

"You did?" John asked seriously not understanding how his boyfriend's brain worked sometimes. "How did you come of that result?"

"Smells of men's cologne."

"Huh?" Both John and Greg said at the same time.

"Sherlock you are REALLY not making sense." Greg said shaking his head in disbelief. "Please clarify."

Sherlock was getting exasperated. "It's obvious she is having an affair and her husband found out about it and got himself killed in the process."

"And the cow?"

"Sadistic freaks."


End file.
